CIVILITY

Manners and civility were actively taught and cultivated. They were considered essential for civilized existence of people with one another. In this past century, however, there has been a loss of etiquette and mannerlyness for many reasons. Perhaps some of it relates to an association with proper behavior and class stratification. Other reasons might relate to the daily assault from the media of violence, crudeness, crassness.

Certainly, the vulgar tastelessness of much of tv's fare together with the emphasis on commercials rather than show content, helps to dilute meaning and content. Our society in general is litigious and filled with professional victims. They scapegoat, blame and pass the buck as a way of life. They sue at the drop of a hat. While this may be good for the torte system, it certainly undermines taking personal responsibility for oneself. This, of course, would include ones' conduct in social interactions. Whatever all the reasons for the loss of civility, it can be safely said that it is costing us greatly.

Dignity, graciousness and attentiveness to the niceties are a way of validating and supporting one another. Being nice or kindly is a gift, not just a ploy. This is not about charm school, but rather about being charming. Such graciousness facilitates a positive and affirming relatedness with one another. It reflects a sense of goodness in all of us. These are essentially spiritual concepts of universal love, acceptance and compassion.

Perhaps one of the reasons it is so lacking in our culture is a collective demoralization or dispiritedness. If we can recognize that, we can cultivate our spirituality in meditation and prayer so that our relationships can be what all the great religions of the world have always described. That is, the golden rule with it's generosity and kindness of heart can resume it's place as the foundation for our health and collective well being.